let’s get fat and sassy
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If food were ladies, I'd be James Bond: committed to none, willing to try all, except for that one with the underaged ice skating champion. I rarely turn down food. Although I am no longer a fan of sweets, because of a primordial fear of dentistry, I have tried savory foods from a ton of places, and I can tell you right now: they're good. I am a trained restaurant shark, fork at the ready to steal your food. If it looks good.
I couldn’t decide between two openers for this post, so this is now a choose your own adventure blog.
OPTION 1:
I think it would be easy to reduce crime if you told people that heaven were like dining at Orange Shabu.
OPTION 2:
I HAVE HAD WAGYU BEEF SHABU SHABU: BEHOLD MY WORKS YE MIGHTY AND DESPAIR.
A few [...]
N.B.: I make this all the time and we have no photo documentation of it because it gets eaten real fast. I have supplemented with an artist’s interpretations of what the potatoes are like.
Ingredients:
Potatoes (yukon golds are best)
Whipping cream
Butter
salt to taste
1-2 bulbs of garlic
olive oil
Gloria will tell you that I am a measure-twice-cut-once kind of [...]
UPDATE: A day after I posted this, the chef who runs the whole Zaytinya/Cafe Atlantico network gets nominated as GQ’s Chef of the Year! If that’s not a(n a)rousing endorsement, I don’t know what is.
Warning: There are no photographs in this review for three very important reasons.
The lighting was low and romantic.
No room in my [...]
My stomach burns with the fire of a thousand pissed off suns.
This happens only rarely, because of my health nut CEO, but every once in a while, a vendor will send someone in the company baked goods, which are then scavenged ruthlessly by the flocks of office women. So when I see an alert from [...]
I am the precisely wrong person to write about the 1st Annual Gloria Huang Birthday Chili Cook-Off, considering that hours after my first-prize triumph, I had to be generously driven by the 3rd placeman to the hospital to ease my insufferable stomach flu symptoms. (Full disclosure, none of these chilis cause spontaneous stomach flu, but [...]
I typed out the following paragraph and realized keenly that my house is wicked weird. THIS IS HOW WE ROLL.
There is nothing that pisses me off more than having a bad chardonnay, and I had a bad chardonnay this weekend. I thought–”Oh, one cup can go into delicious risotto, and then I’ll drink the rest, [...]
We all have guy/girl issues. We all dream of the day when we can be perfectly and unconditionally loved for who we are on the inside. We all hope for the day we can finally burst out of our rooms, newborn, not smelling of old clothes, takeout food, and that special kind of pheremone that [...]
Warning: In the spirit of a Spartan-level attention to detail, I have included every ingredient that went into this dish. I apologize in advance to the squeamish.
Here are my five most favorite foods in the world:
Chinese barbecue sea cucumber
Spaghetti with meat sauce
Chinese sticky rice
Chinese beef noodle soup (thick noodles, please!)
Pizza (any kind except NY thin [...]
Not even diabeetus could stop the frantic scarfing of the dish I’m about to convey to you. No photography can make it look attractive. No other food can quash your need for chicken boudine. I have modified a Paula Deen recipe, my friends, and it is delicious like nothing you have ever tasted.
Chicken Boudine
Ingredients:
1 can [...]
I have been moving, which means I have not been cooking, which means I am the laziest bum, but I have returned in the wake of delicious Italian food to bestow upon you the blessings of the greatest of cities, the District of Columbia. Namely, the Weekly Feed column from the DCist, which I’m sure [...]