I went to restaurants and cooked in exotic locales. Let me tell you some things. 1. FUCK YOU, GUATEMALA. For the love of God, don’t go to Guatemala anticipating a beautiful meal that tastes delicious. The local meats are no good, and cow doesn’t have ‘cuts’ so much as ‘parts that probably came off of [...]
Posts under ‘Rants’
Dear Coastal Flats
I love you. I love your delicious seafood which is not the best, but flavorful and warm, like food that you yourself could make, but don’t want to right just now. You are a little expensive, but otherwise the essence of a great comfort food restaurant. I want to express my deepest gratitude for not abandoning [...]
On ramekins and casseroles
As some of you may know from twitter, I recently purchased ramekins from Amazon, only to discover upon their arriving that they are “not open flame or broiler safe.” Since approximately 99% of my justification for buying ramekins was to make crèmes brûlées* every day (and die of a heart attack at 24), this was [...]
Fuck you, red velvet cake.
In high school, I learned calculus without the help of basic math skills, and instead persisted on sheer force of will and my ingrained ability to follow explicit instructions. Similarly, I have learned to bake–nothing pleases me more than a set of instructions without compromise, without leeway, without the intrusion of the human soul. I [...]