The recipe is from Café Zuni, which is just over the bay, but it’s a pretty expensive joint, and doing it yourself is not too hard. Smitten Kitchen’s summary (which is what I linked above) suffices here, except I will make the following notes: (1) I only had 10 hours to salt the chicken, though 1-3 days is the recommended salting time (it still turned out quite good and I’ll do it right when I inevitably repeat this recipe someday). (2) It was very difficult to find a chicken quite small enough. To be fair, I only had time to look in one store (see the first note) but I went to Andronico’s which has fairly good meat selection. I managed to find a 3.68 pound free-range chicken, so that’s what I used. (3) Once in the oven (which you start at a whopping 475˚F) the chicken was very good at hissing and spitting and getting chicken fat all over the oven’s heating coil (oh how I wish we had a gas range) which led to a lot of smoke; long story short I ended up removing the batteries from our smoke detector.

As you can see, I served it with the bread salad (recipe also in the above link). For dessert, Brandon (my guinea pig for this dinner) and I had poached pears, also a first!

Pears poached in spiced vin santo

• 2 small pears (pref. d’Anjou) peeled, but not cored or stemmed
• 1 750 mL bottle of Italian dessert wine such as vin santo or marsala
• 1/2 cup of water
• 1/2 cup sugar
• 1 cinnamon stick, broken in two (this is harder than it sounds to do)
• 1 tbsp vanilla bean paste (or a real vanilla bean)
• 1/2 inch ginger root, peeled and finely chopped
• for serving: whipped cream or 1/2 cup mascarpone cheese, honey and powdered cinnamon to taste

Combine the wine, water, sugar, cinnamon, vanilla, and ginger in the smallest (but still deep) saucepan you can find. Bring to a boil on medium, then reduce to right below a simmer and add the pears (position them so that the liquid covers as much of the pear as possible). Cook for 20-30 minutes or until tender (so that it yields to a fork), rotating them occasionally so that they pears poach evenly. Once they are soft, remove the pears to a serving dish and reduce the remaining poaching liquid by half. Serve the pears standing up (you might have to slice off the bottom to make them stand) covered with the poaching liquid/syrup (strained, of course), and with a small dollop of whipped cream or honeyed mascarpone.

Anyway, now I have a leftover chicken carcass and poaching liquid. Probably I will turn the chicken into chicken stock and also chicken-and-barley stew. The poaching liquid will probably get added to hot apple cider to create INSTANT HOLIDAY CHEER. Science!

I came home today with a spring in my step, a gleam in my eye and a desire to cook with garlic, lemon, white wine and butter. Somewhere the conception and realization of such a dinner, Mike walks in, nods sagely, announces a quite fancy name for such a simple dish and also suggests adding capers. Capers! I had never eaten them before! With a bit of testing, salting, peppering and capering, we then creating a delightful meal!

Anyhow, this is easy to make and awesome.

Dredge thin, flat strips of chicken in a mix of flour, salt and pepper and sear in a large pan with a thin layer of smoking olive oil. The salt and pepper mixed into the flour should be to taste. The flour helps keep the chicken juicy. Both sides of the chicken should be a golden brown. Remove the chicken from the pan.

The pan is now full of little chicken bits stuck to the bottom. Before they char, turn down the heat and pour oodles of white wine to deglaze the pan. Scrape all the bits off the bottom of the pan, because they are delicious. The white wine will reduce and serve as the base of the sauce.

Add a few cloves of garlic! Fresh garlic is better. If you do not have a garlic press, please imagine me glaring at you. Harshly.

Add the butter to the White Wine/Garlic mix! It’ll melt and brighten up the flavor. I used roughly a tablespoon and a half of butter per pound of chicken. Butter is part of my strict daily anti-hypothermia regimen. However, if you enjoy shivering and turning blue while swimming in the ocean, you might use less!

There is now a pile of golden brown, seared chicken in a bowl, and a simmering collection of white wine, butter and garlic in the pan. Turn up the heat add the chicken and reduce the sauce. The excess flour on the chicken will thicken the sauce. I’m not sure how to explain when the sauce is reduced enough, but it should be ‘Slightly Gooey’, in an appetizing way.

Now, go out back to your lemon tree and pick a good looking lemon. Slice it in half and squeeze the juice over the sauce & mix it up. There are now only three trials left to accomplish before we can enjoy the fruits of our labours: Salting, Peppering & Capering. The key to success is tasting the sauce. In the beginning, the wine will overpower everything. (DON’T PANIC.)

I added a sprinkling of salt, quite a few pinches of pepper, and a crash of capers to the mix. I don’t have a set recipe yet & every dish is more of a process than a formula.

Knowing why a dish is made is so much more valuable than memorizing simply how to make it. Even though someone already invented Piccata, figuring out the process on my own was a lot more fun than blindly following a proceedure. Also, this experiment ended successfully, which is key!

Marmalade chicken

• 4 breasts chicken, butterflied and (optionally) pounded thin with a meat tenderizer
• salt, pepper
• olive oil
• marsala or sherry, for deglazing
• 2 tbsp butter (optional)
• 1 tbsp dried rubbed sage
• 1/4 of a white onion, minced
• 1 c chicken broth
• 1 1/2 c marmalade*

Pat the chicken breasts dry, season with salt and pepper, and brown in a skillet with some olive oil until just about done through. Remove the chicken and deglaze the pan with some sherry, turning the heat down to medium. Add the butter (opt.), sage, onion, broth, and marmalade, and let the sauce reduce for about 20 minutes. Add more broth and marmalade if it isn’t voluminous enough for you. Finally, replace the chicken in the pan, coat it with the sauce, and let it cook, covered, for an additional 10 minutes on low heat.

Variation: Use 2 duck breasts instead. Score the fatty side of the breast, sear it on both sides 5 min each, then keep warm in a 200˚F oven. Make the sauce using the rendered duck fat and no butter (unless you feel like it). Skip the last step and instead reduce 5 minutes more. Slice the breasts against the grain and pour the reduction over top to serve. This seems like a very good idea to me.

* We used Safeway’s Seville orange marmalade, which is a tad on the bitter side, but pleasantly so. Use your discretion: I believe in you!

• 5 large potatoes, cubed (skinned optional)
• olive oil
• buttermilk
• salt and pepper

Put potato cubes in a pot of warm water, bring to a boil, and then let simmer, covered, for about 30 minutes, or until potatoes are tender. Drain, add olive oil and buttermilk, and mash. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Wilted spinach with garlic

• 4 large cloves garlic, sliced into thin slivers
• 1 lb fresh spinach
• olive oil

Heat olive oil and a little bit of salt in a small skillet over medium heat until shimmering. Add the garlic and sauté until fragrant. Add the spinach and cook about 10 minutes, stirring with a spatula so it cooks evenly.

Chicken breasts in sage brown butter (with polenta!)

Serves 2 to a great degree of satisfaction, possibly up to 4 if you added another vegetable (honey roasted carrots would do well!)

• 1/2 stick of butter, plus another 1/2 stick on reserve
• 1 package of fresh sage (or about 20 largish leaves)
• 2 boneless, (but optionally skinful) chicken breasts, butterflied (bisected through the xy-plane)
• salt, cracked black pepper
• 1 box instant polenta, prepared according to box directions

Pat the chicken dry and rub in salt and black pepper. Melt half a stick of butter on medium-high heat in a large skillet, and let it brown (but be careful not to let it burn or foam up too much). It will develop a brownish color and a nutty aroma (and flavor). Drop in the sage leaves and stir for about 5 minutes, or until deliciously fragrant of sage. Move the leaves to the sides of the pan, and place the chicken breasts in the pan (with skin down first if using skin). Brown the chicken (about 7-10 minutes on each side) until done, making sure that the sage remains moist and covered with butter the entire time, adding more butter to the pan if necessary (it was for me, but who knows, you might get lucky!).

Remove the cooked chicken breasts and cover with a towel to keep them warm and reserve about 1/4 cup of the juice/fat/butter for serving. Adjust the heat to high, until butter smokes and foams a little. Add the instant polenta to the pan (I had some leftover; judge for yourself how sagey you would like the polenta), and let it brown and crisp on the outside, stirring to mix in the butter mixture. Salt to taste. Serve the chicken breasts over the polenta, and pour the reserved juices over top.

Last step: EAT IT :v … preferably with a nice Italian red.

Ingredients:

• 2 Green Bell Peppers
• 3-4 Jalapeño Peppers
• 1-2 White Onions
• 1 Large Can Tomato Sauce (~29 oz)
• 1 Can Tomato Paste (~12 oz)
• 1 Bottle of Beer
• 3 Cans of Beans (16 oz each)
• 1 Pound Ground Chicken
• 1 Pound Ground Turkey
• 1 Pound Thick Cut Bacon
• Seasoning Mix (described below)

Seasoning Mix:

• 2 tbsp. Chili Powder
• 1 tbsp. Seasoned Salt
• 1 tsp. Onion Powder
• 1 tsp. Garlic Powder
• 2 tsp. Cumin
• 1/2 tsp. Salt
• 1/2 tsp. Oregano
• 1/2 tsp. Paprika

1. Finely chop onions and peppers into ~1/4″ pieces.   Put peppers, onions and beer into  a large pot or slow cooker.  I used a bottle of Yeungling Lager, but most beers should work and will add their own unique flavors.  For stove-top cooking set to medium heat, or for slow cooker set to highest setting.
2. In a large frying pan cook the bacon.  Remove from heat when the strips are a dark pink.  Even if you like to go whole-hog and get your bacon super crispy keep in mind these will be in the chili for a very long time so getting them just-done is the way to go.  Set aside the strips on a plate between paper towels to absorb excess grease.  When all the bacon has been cooked pour out excess grease from the pan into a metal or glass container, leaving about 2-3 tbsp. in the pan.
3. In the same pan cook the ground chicken with about 1 tbsp. of the seasoning mix. When the chicken is fully cooked, drain and add to the pot or slow cooker with the vegetables. Repeat the process for the ground turkey with 1 tbsp. of the seasoning mix and 1-2 tbsp. of bacon grease. After the chicken and turkey have been added to the mix reduce heat to low.
4. Pat excess grease off of the bacon with a paper towel and slice the bacon into small pieces (about 1/4-1/2″  wide). Add bacon to the pot.
5. Strain all liquid from the beans and add to the pot. I used a combination of kidney beans, black beans and navy beans. Add tomato sauce, tomato paste and remainder of seasoning mix to the pot and stir thoroughly.  Fresh tomatoes could be used but I like to keep the tomato as a liquid base for the other ingredients.  If fresh tomatoes are used you should finely chop enough tomatoes to constitute about 1-1.5 quarts (32-48 oz).
6. Allow to simmer for 3-4 hours or longer if possible, stirring occasionally.  I ended up cooking the chili overnight for a total of about 12 hours.  This allowed a richer flavor to develop which I think worked out well. However it did end up burning slightly on the bottom which ended up making the flavor a little smokier, but unfortunately also caused the bottom quarter or so of the pot to be thrown out. In general it would be best to cook this throughout the day so as to keep an eye on it at all times.

This makes I believe about 6 quarts of chili. Serve with shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream or ranch dressing.

Chicken and summer squash cornbread casserole

• 4-6 chicken breasts, cooked/leftover or poached, then shredded (see below)
• 3 boxes pre-mixed cornbread batter (such as Jiffy) prepared according to instructions (for Jiffy, you’ll need 3 eggs and also X c of milk)
• optional: 4-10 diced jalapeños mixed into the Jiffy cornbread, for added heat. :9
• 1 lb summer squash, peeled, sliced thin, and browned in a pan with some salt for about 5 minutes
• 2 1/2 c frozen then thawed corn kernels, or about 5 ears worth of corn kernels (instructions on cooking fresh corn can be found by consulting the internet)
• 3 c shredded cheese, in whatever combination of cheddar and monterey jack pleases you. Panela is actually the preferred variety, but it’s hard to find(?)
• 4 cups roasted tomatillo salsa, recipe below (can be substituted with store-bought salsa verde, but it is really easy)

Preheat oven to 375˚F. In a greased lasagna dish, lay down about half of the cornbread batter, then half of the squash, half of the corn, half of the chicken, half of the salsa, and half of the cheese. Repeat. Bake for 30 minutes, covered with foil. Remove foil, bring the oven down to 350˚F, and bake another 30 minutes, or until outer layer of cheese is golden brown and an inserted knife comes out clean. (The real difficulty is getting the middle layer of cornbread to cook; it is essential to the casserole’s structure.

Roasted tomatillo salsa
This yields about 6 cups. The recipe calls for 4 cups, but the rest is for serving. Also, salsa verde is something awesome to have around for other reasons.

• about 60 tomatillos, leaves removed, and rinsed under warm water to remove the stickiness
• 10 large cloves garlic, *with* skins
• 12 jalapeños (or 8 serrano chiles, if you can find them)
• 1 c fresh cilantro leaves, roughly chopped
• salt, to taste

Preheat broiler to high, oven rack in center position. Place tomatillos, garlic, and chiles on a foil lined baking dish, and broil for 8 minutes, turning tomatillos halfway through. Skin garlic, stem chiles, and blend these, the tomatillos, and the cilantro in batches in a food processor.* It doesn’t have to be puréed, but fairly smooth is better for this dish.

Poached chicken breasts

• chicken breasts
• water, salt
• appropriate herbs and spices

Put chicken breasts at the bottom of a pot such that they do not overlap (too much). Fill pot with water such that the chicken breasts are fully submerged. Add salt and other flavorings as desired (for this recipe I used about 2 tsp salt for two chicken breasts, plus some garlic powder and probably about 2 tsp of chili powder, but it depends on what you’re making). Bring to a gentle boil on medium-high heat, then bring it down to a simmer on low, cover, and simmer for 2-4 minutes. Turn off heat, and let the pot stand covered on the range for 20-30 minutes. Chicken should be done all the way through by then. You can reuse the water for more chicken breasts, too… also, you don’t really have to thaw them if they are frozen, because you’re heating them already, and adding water when poaching is a-okay. Poached chicken breasts are ready to eat, and there’s no added fat from the cooking. D:

Shredding a hot poached chicken breast is fairly easy; I found the best way was to attack it like some kind of madman dual-wielding forks. Shredded chicken is great in Mexican dishes (esp. enchiladas verdes) and also you can make it into delicious chicken salad for lunchtime sammiches.

It’s grade-A coma-inducing comfort food. :v

*Apparently we obtained a food processor at some point, and I didn’t even know! So useful.

Anyhow, we got another one of those purple eggplant monsters in our CSA box last week, so we decided to try it out using a recipe from the internet. Because we also like eating MEAT we also prepared a quick chicken satay, and taking a cue from our favorite Burmese restaurant, we made coconut rice instead of the usual plain steamed rice. :9 It was all very filling, especially with Thai iced tea on the side. (After dinner I had an irresistible urge to roll around on the floor moaning “FAT FAT FAT.”)

Chicken satay

• 3 chicken breasts, cut into strips length wise and then chopped into long-ish chunks
• 2 tbsp soy sauce
• 1 tbsp fish sauce
• 1 tbsp cooking rice wine
• 1 tbsp toasted sesame oil
• 1 tsp minced ginger
• 1 clove garlic, minced
• 1/2 tsp ground coriander
• 1/2 tsp crushed red pepper flakes
• 6-8 bamboo skewers, soaked briefly in water

Mix all the ingredients together in a bowl and marinate for at least an hour (preferably two). Set your oven to broil with a rack in the center. Skewer the marinated meat and set on a cooking sheet covered with aluminum foil. Broil for 6-12 minutes, depending on your broiler, turning the meat 2/3 of the way through. Make sure it’s done all the way through before you serve it with delicious peanut sauce.*

Thai basil eggplant

• vegetable or other neutral oil
• 1 large or 2 medium-sized eggplants, as fresh as possible
• 1 bunch (about 1 cup) thai basil leaves, stemmed**
• 1-2 tbsp sugar
• 2 cloves garlic, chopped
• 0-4 Thai chili peppers (depending on your spice-tolerance), chopped
• 3 tbsp fish sauce
• 1 tbsp soy sauce

Chop the eggplant into 1/2 inch thick rounds and then into approximately triangular or cubic chunks. Heat oil in a wok on medium-high heat, add the peppers and garlic, and fry until garlic is fragrant and golden brown. Add the eggplant, stir, add a cup of water, and cover the wok for 5-10 minutes, or until water is evaporated and the eggplant has become translucent. If you run out of water but the eggplant has not gone translucent, add a little more water (science!). Uncover, add the sugar, fish sauce, and soy sauce, and stir. Finally, add the basil and stir quickly to heat the basil such that it retains its color. Remove from heat immediately.

Coconut rice

• 2 c (dry) long-grain rice
• 1 tbsp butter
• 1 standard issue can of coconut milk
• 1 1/2 c water
• 1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
• cinnamon, to taste

Wash the rice under cold water in a sieve, removing as much of the outer starch as possible. Drain well. Melt the butter in a medium saucepan on medium-high heat. Add the rice and stir to coat, about 2 minutes, or until rice has become translucent. Add the coconut milk, water, and salt, stir, and bring to a boil. Once boiling, cover and reduce heat to low, simmering until the rice is cooked through, about 15-20 minutes. Remove it from heat, fluff it with a fork, adjust salt, and add cinnamon to taste.

Action shot! Hand courtesy Henry M. Cook, Fish Sauce courtesy Fish Sauce, esq., lack of baseboards behind oven courtesy Our Landlady.

* We used store-bought, but recipes for this abound on the internet. In a pinch you can make it by mixing peanut butter (pref. smooth, for this) together with fish sauce, soy sauce, etc. You should know what this tastes like. Also good with satay: Chopped cucumbers and red onion in vinegar.

** Thai basil is different from the other kind (which is referred to as “Italian basil” in the chaotic, swirling nexus of my mind). If you don’t know what kind you have, Thai basil is generally “more purple” than the other kind, which usually has no purple in it at all.

Chicken lettuce wraps are one of those dishes which I can never remember the origin of – are they really anywhere close to “authentic” asian food, or is PF Chang’s overpriced asian fusion menu responsible for them? A quick Google search yielded no concrete answers, though searching my memory did dredge up something – I think I had these in Taiwan once.  Well, regardless of whether or not this is an American invention, this dish is damn tasty and makes for a good meal that’s not altogether that bad for you.  Extra bonus: it’s low carb!

The one negative to this dish is that it takes a lot of mincing.  However, it’s worth it in the end! Just put your favorite show on the TV or convince someone to be your kitchen grunt, and get chopping.

As usual, measurements are just guidelines that I basically made up – in actuality I just mixed up whatever seemed right. I hope the measurements give you an idea of proportion, however. This recipe was sorta cobbled together from the first three recipes I found through Google. I’ll include a list of sample recipes at the end so you can get an idea of what other variations there are.

Ingredients (Yields about 6 servings):

• 2 lbs ground chicken (you can also use turkey for a similar taste/texture)
• 1 head of lettuce (I used iceberg, but other popular choices are butter lettuce and romaine)
• 3 tbsp minced garlic
• 2 tbsp minced fresh ginger
• 3 scallions, chopped finely
• 1 can water chesnuts, chopped finely
• 2 cups fresh shiitake mushrooms, chopped finely
• 1/2 cup unsalted roasted peanuts, chopped roughly
• dry sherry
• sesame oil
• oyster sauce
• hoisin sauce
• soy sauce
• black pepper and salt

Start by marinating the ground chicken in about 1/2 cup of dry sherry and 1/4 cup soy sauce.  Salt and pepper as well – I was very liberal with the pepper, not as much with the salt.

Begin chopping up everything while the meat marinates. After you’re done, put a little veggie or canola oil in a skillet or wok, and start cooking the meat while breaking it up into little pieces.  This actually requires a good deal of effort… my arms were getting tired after a few minutes! When the chicken is cooked thoroughly, remove it from the heat and put it in a bowl for later.

In a small bowl, mix about 1/2 cup hoisin sauce, 1/3 cup oyster sauce, 1/4 cup sesame oil, and a little sherry and soy sauce.

Saute all the chopped things together, then add in the chicken when things are mostly all cooked. Pour the mixture in the small bowl in, and stir until well incorporated.

You’re done! Serve with leaves of the lettuce.   It makes a decent meal by itself, or with a side of veggies since the lettuce doesn’t provide as much nutritional value.

Some common additions to this dish are hot pepper flakes, fresh peppers, red pepper, and orange zest. Here are some links to alternative recipes:

Asian Chicken Lettuce Wraps (from Stretch Mark Mama)

Chicken Lettuce Wraps Two Ways (from YumSugar)

Thai Glazed Chicken Lettuce Wraps (from Rachael Ray)

Ingredients:

• 4 boneless chicken breasts,* cut into bite sized pieces (1 ½ – 1 ¾ lbs.)
• 6 slices swiss cheese
• ½ cup white wine
• salt, pepper, tarragon to taste
• ¼ cup melted butter
• 1 can cream of chicken soup
• 2 cups Pepperidge Farm stuffing

* Or thighs. I’m sure everyone knows the deal on chicken breasts vs. thighs: the thighs are cheaper but fattier.

Directions:

1. Put chicken pieces in greased 9×13-inch baking dish. Season with salt, pepper, and tarragon and top with cheese slices.
2. Mix soup and wine, pour over chicken.
3. Mix stuffing and melted butter, crumble on top.
4. Bake uncovered at 300 for 90 minutes.

Be generous with the cheese and soup and wine and stuffing. They’re the best parts. The chicken is almost superfluous. (Though maybe I say that only because I’m not much of a carnivore.)

The only bad thing about this recipe is that it takes 90 minutes to cook… sometimes more like two hours. Conveniently, you probably have extra swiss cheese and white wine sitting around, so you can serve yourself some while you’re waiting.

Also while we’re waiting for my dinner to cook, I’ll introduce you to my grocery bag.

I made my grocery bag using the How to sew a curved bag gusset tutorial over at the U-handblog. It’s one of the most useful things I’ve ever made. In the picture above, it’s holding all the ingredients necessary for the cheese & wine chicken (sans wine — I forgot my ID and had to go back out for that later, le sigh — and also sans chicken, which was leaking, so I put it in a separate plastic bag) plus ingredients for the next two dinners I’ll make, which, since I’m cooking for one, is almost a week and a half’s worth of food.

I don’t have a car, so my grocery bag makes shopping much easier. I hardly ever buy more food than can fit in the bag (thanks to not having a car, of course), and it slings comfortably over my shoulder with a padded strap. Plus, it’s all in cheerful colors, so it makes me feel a bit more cheerful when I pull it out.

And now my food is done, after taunting me with its smell for an hour and a half:

Not even diabeetus could stop the frantic scarfing of the dish I’m about to convey to you.  No photography can make it look attractive. No other food can quash your need for chicken boudine. I have modified a Paula Deen recipe, my friends, and it is delicious like nothing you have ever tasted. 

Chicken Boudine

Ingredients:

• 1 can (10.75 oz) cream of mushroom soup
• 1 can (4 oz) sliced mushrooms
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1/2 cup dry sherry (don’t you dare leave this out)
• 2 cups cooked, bite-sized chicken (we got ours from the salad bar)
• 4 cups egg noodles
• 3 cups cheddar cheese, grated
• salt and pepper
• 2 tbsp butter
• 1 cup panko bread crumbs

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Start cooking your noodles. It’s egg noodles, so you want to keep an eye on them; once that water’s boiling, they go pretty fast.

3. Combine soup, broth, sherry, mushrooms, and chicken. I was still waiting for my noodles to cook, so the sherry taste soaked straight into the chicken. It was mind-blowing.

4. Are those noodles STILL cooking? I’m bored. Microwave the butter until it’s melted, then toss with your bread crumbs and a fistful of cheese (maybe, like, 3/4 cup?) Wash your hands. I hate that buttery, crumby feeling.

5. Those noodles done yet? Oh, thank God, I am starving. Fold in the noodles and the remaining cheese until everything’s even coated. According to the internet, you could also add some frozen peas or pimentos or something. I think some corn would taste pretty good in this, myself.

6. Spread out your panko/cheese mixture on top, somewhat evenly.

7. Put it in the oven for 30 minutes. NOW YOU HAVE A DELICIOUS MEAL.

For reals. This may be the easiest thing I’ve ever cooked, but it came out stupid good. And though I said that there no pictures could make it look delicious (it kind of looks like a default casserole mess), Gloria tried. I am eating leftovers of this stuff tonight. Not kidding, dudes. 

This is the “something light” that Gloria had her salmon with. Shenanigans: called. 

shit guys I want some right now