Here’s the thing about salad.  It should be so easy to get fatties to eat salad.  The key to great salad is to make sure that every ingredient is impeccable.  The romaine has to be crisp and fresh (I use the bag stuff–so shoot me. It’s crisp!)  The dressing has to be dressing that you like.  I have been hard-pressed to find dressing that I like, until I found this stuff.  It’s about as strong and pungent as your average momma, and you don’t have to use much of it to get a real face-pounding caesar delight.  You have to have croutons.  Parmesan to taste.  And sometimes, if you’re feeling cheeky, you need chicken.

I have made the best chicken in the world.  On the same site with the caesar dressing, there’s a recipe for croutons.  I have made chicken in the same oven as those croutons are cooking, and hoo buddy, it’s good.

Ingredients:

- Two skinless chicken breasts. In the grocery mart, they sell huge bags of individually sealed chicken breasts, any of which can be frozen for forever. They’re delicious, skinny, and they defrost under warm water in about 30 minutes: all around win. 

- One lemon, sliced thin enough to cover two slabs of chicken. 

- Some parsley, chopped.

- Some garlic, smooshed. 

- Olive oil.

- Salt and pepper.

1. The crouton recipe tells you to heat some oil on low, smash two cloves of garlic, and move it around for around 3-5 minutes with any kind of spoon you like. If you’re making croutons too, just double al l that. I crisped the croutons at 250 degrees Fahrenheit.

2. After your oil is smelling fragrant, throw in the parsley. No reason.

3. Put your chicken slabs down on a sheet pan. You can wrap the sheet pan in aluminum foil if you like.

4. Slather that bitch in some of your olive oil. 

5. Salt and pepper some of that until you feel better. I was worried at first that the salt would leech some moisture from the chicken, but we’re going to fix that.

6. Pour the olive oil, parsley, and garlic on the chicken. Spread it out some. 

7. Now for those lemon slices. I squeezed all of them lightly as they went in, but I wanted to keep most of the lemon in tact. Squeeze them gently, then just cover your chicken in them. The lemon moisture will seep into your chicken, keep it moist, and make it delicious.

8. LET’S DO THIS! I popped it into the oven for 45 minutes. I got a little paranoid about it not cooking all the way through, so I cut a slice into the fattest part of the breast.

…. Hehehehehehe.

8. But it turns out that that probably wasn’t necessary. 

Yay!