Recipe is from Food Network’s Michael Chiarello, who was that Italian chef on the first season of Top Chef Masters. While I wasn’t a fan of his attitude, his recipes are usually a hit. It’s named “Super Quick Minestrone”, which is to say that it still takes upwards of 40 minutes to make, but the process is straightforward and involves enough down time that you won’t really feel like you’re slaving away at the stove all evening.

I followed the recipe pretty closely, substituting sage sausage for the pancetta and foregoing the thyme.  My pasta of choice was wheat elbow macaroni, and I added some chili powder to the seasoning at the end. The result was better than I was expecting – a great balanced comfort dish.

Extra bonus: you can definitely practice your knife skills when chopping all the veggies up in the beginning. That part was the most tedious, but at least it will get better with practice!

Recipe reproduced from the Food Network website:

Ingredients:

• 1 cup (4 ounces) tubetti pasta, or other small pasta shape
• Extra-virgin olive oil
• 6 cups chicken stock
• 1/4 pound pancetta, cut into 3 pieces
• 6 medium garlic cloves, each cut in 1/2 lengthwise
• 2 cups finely chopped yellow onions (2 small onions)
• 1 cup small-diced celery (2 medium stalks)
• 1 cup small-diced carrots (2 to 3 medium carrots)
• 1 tablespoon finely chopped rosemary or thyme leaves
• 1 (14-ounce) can cannellini beans, drained and rinsed
• 1 (14 1/2-ounce) can diced tomatoes
• 4 cups small-diced zucchini (green/yellow) (5 small zucchini)
• 2 cups small-diced, peeled russet potatoes (1 large russet)
• Salt and freshly ground black pepper
• 1 cup freshly grated Parmesan

Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil over high heat. Add the pasta and cook according to package directions until al dente. Drain and transfer the pasta to a baking sheet. Toss the pasta with a little olive oil to prevent sticking.

In a large saucepan over medium heat, warm the chicken stock.

In another large saucepan over high heat, heat 1/4 cup oil. When the oil is hot but not smoking, add the pancetta and cook until it begins to brown, 3 to 4 minutes, turning occasionally. Add the garlic and cook until it begins to brown, about 1 minute, stirring occasionally. Lower the heat to medium and add the onions, celery, and carrots.

Cook until the vegetables are soft, 8 to 10 minutes, stirring occasionally to prevent browning. Add the chopped herbs. Raise the heat to high. Add the beans, tomatoes, zucchini, and potatoes. Add the chicken stock and bring to a boil. Then bring it down to a simmer and cook until the potatoes are tender, 12 to 15 minutes, skimming any foam off the top of the soup. Season generously with pepper. Add salt, to taste. Just a few minutes before serving, add the cooked tubetti pasta. Serve warm with Parmesan and olive oil passed at the table.

Cooking notes: Add the cooked pasta just before serving. If it sits in the soup too long, it develops a flabby texture. Tubetti (little hollow tubes) are the classic pasta for minestrone, but you could substitute another small shape of pasta.

• They are delicious! While they steam they emit this stunningly tasty broth. Look into it.
• They are cheap, esp. for seafood! $5/lb is the price for Manila clams down at the Berkeley Bowl, and that is definitely enough to feed two people.
• When you buy them… they are STILL ALIVE. Creepy, eh?

This is a very simple and traditional way to prepare them, and the most expensive part is the bottle of wine, of which only about 1/2 cup goes into the cooking… so you get to drink the remainder with dinner! Serves you + 1 fly honey.

Linguini with clams (basic)

• 1 lb small clams, such as Manilla or Littleneck (this should be about 2 dozen and a bit)
• fat (butter or oil), about 3-4 tablespoons
• 3 large cloves garlic, minced
• 1 small shallot (or 1/4 of a mild-tasting onion), minced
• 1/2 cup dry white wine (Kendall Jackson’s sauvignon blanc is a very good choice here and it’s inexpensive too)
• 2 tomatoes, peeled, cored, seeded, and diced
• 1/2 lb linguini

Melt the fat in a large pot on medium, add the minced garlic and shallot and sauté until fragrant and beginning to soften (about 2 minutes). Add the clams to the pot, the wine, and about half the diced tomatoes. Bring to a boil, then cover and let steam until the clams open (about 5-8 minutes). Meanwhile, cook the linguini to your desired specifications. Remove clams to a bowl (discarding any that do not open… that means they were dead when you got them :/) and cover with foil. Drain the linguini and throw it in the pot, which should have a nice thin layer of broth at the bottom. Throw in the remaining tomato and toss it all together over medium heat for a few beats. Serve the linguini with clams on top (either you can remove them from their shells or the diner can… your choice!) immediately.

This recipe of course begs for additions and variation. I was planning on tossing some arugula in as well, but my stock had gone extra-bitter so I decided against it. I also added some grated chestnuts as an experiment, but I do not recommend this, as chestnuts are a pain in the ass to prepare and they didn’t add much to the dish.

• 1 quart of roma tomatoes (or 1 can of crushed tomatoes) – a quart was about 8 or 9 tomatoes for me
• 3-4 cloves of garlic
• 3/4 cup finely chopped onion or shallots
• 1/2 cup peas
• 1 cup vodka
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1/2 cup heavy cream
• olive oil
• 1/2 cup torn fresh basil

If you’re using fresh tomatoes, first cut in an X on the end of each tomato and drop them all in a pot of boiling water for about 4 minutes.  You’ll start to see the peels starting to separate. Take the tomatoes out and put them in cold water to bring the temperature low enough that you can handle them.  Peel the skin off with your hands – it should be super easy!

Next, use a serrated knife to chop the tomatoes roughly. Stick the tomatoes in a strainer of some sort – a colander should be fine. You want to get a good deal of the liquid innards out so that the sauce isn’t to watery later. I finished up the chopping by using kitchen shears (you can transfer it back to a board to chop as well, I just find shears to be a lot easier), and then crushed them a bit with a spoon.

Heat up a deep pan (I like to use a wok) with some olive oil, and start sauteeing the garlic and onion/shallots.  Continue sauteeing until the onion looks soft.  Throw in the vodka, and cook it down by at least half.

Add the tomatoes and chicken broth, stir. Throw in some salt and pepper.  Cook it down again for 3-4 minutes. Add cream and peas, turn heat to low, and stir gently to incorporate.  Simmer a bit longer until it looks nice and thick.  When it’s about ready, take it off the heat and stir in the torn basil.  Serve with pasta! I like to use penne.

If you like some heat with your sauce, try adding red pepper flakes to taste. I actually added a few pinches of it and it was good!

There is a version that Emeril Lagasse makes that involves bacon – you cut the bacon into small pieces and cook it first, using the fat to cook the onions afterwards. YUM. I’ll have to do that next time!

• 8oz thin spaghetti noodles
• 3 tbsp peanut oil
• 1/4 cup soy sauce
• 1/4 cup red wine vinegar
• 2 1/2 tbsp peanut butter
• 1 tsp sesame oil
• 1 tsp. sugar
• 1/2 tsp ground ginger
• 1/2 tsp salt
• 3 tbsp sesame seeds
• 2-3 fresh cloves garlic, chopped
• red cayenne pepper
• 2-3 scallions, chopped (optional)

I’m not a big scallion fan, so I left those out.

1. Cook noodles and toss with 1 tbsp peanut oil.
2. In a bowl with high sides, mix together the soy sauce, red wine vinegar, peanut butter, sesame oil, sugar, ground ginger, and salt. Beat with a fork or whisk until creamy.
3. In a large skillet, roast the sesame seeds (dry) until they are golden brown and fragrant. Let them cool on a small plate. Then use the same skillet to roast the chopped garlic in the 2 tbsp peanut oil, along with red cayenne pepper to taste.
4. When the garlic is roasted, add the noodles and sauce to the skillet. Mix and cook over low heat for 2 minutes or until sauce has started to thicken around noodles. Remove from heat and mix in sesame seeds and scallions.

This is probably obvious to anyone but me, but after you cook the sesame seeds they are hot. I tried to spread them around on the plate and burned my fingers. Whoops.

It’s good warm or cold, so make lots and have leftovers. (The pictures are actually of a double recipe, because a package of spaghetti is usually 16 oz., not 8 oz., and it seemed silly to only cook half of it.)

Not even diabeetus could stop the frantic scarfing of the dish I’m about to convey to you.  No photography can make it look attractive. No other food can quash your need for chicken boudine. I have modified a Paula Deen recipe, my friends, and it is delicious like nothing you have ever tasted. 

Chicken Boudine

Ingredients:

• 1 can (10.75 oz) cream of mushroom soup
• 1 can (4 oz) sliced mushrooms
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1/2 cup dry sherry (don’t you dare leave this out)
• 2 cups cooked, bite-sized chicken (we got ours from the salad bar)
• 4 cups egg noodles
• 3 cups cheddar cheese, grated
• salt and pepper
• 2 tbsp butter
• 1 cup panko bread crumbs

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

2. Start cooking your noodles. It’s egg noodles, so you want to keep an eye on them; once that water’s boiling, they go pretty fast.

3. Combine soup, broth, sherry, mushrooms, and chicken. I was still waiting for my noodles to cook, so the sherry taste soaked straight into the chicken. It was mind-blowing.

4. Are those noodles STILL cooking? I’m bored. Microwave the butter until it’s melted, then toss with your bread crumbs and a fistful of cheese (maybe, like, 3/4 cup?) Wash your hands. I hate that buttery, crumby feeling.

5. Those noodles done yet? Oh, thank God, I am starving. Fold in the noodles and the remaining cheese until everything’s even coated. According to the internet, you could also add some frozen peas or pimentos or something. I think some corn would taste pretty good in this, myself.

6. Spread out your panko/cheese mixture on top, somewhat evenly.

7. Put it in the oven for 30 minutes. NOW YOU HAVE A DELICIOUS MEAL.

For reals. This may be the easiest thing I’ve ever cooked, but it came out stupid good. And though I said that there no pictures could make it look delicious (it kind of looks like a default casserole mess), Gloria tried. I am eating leftovers of this stuff tonight. Not kidding, dudes. 

This is the “something light” that Gloria had her salmon with. Shenanigans: called. 

shit guys I want some right now

Seriously, I can’t shut up about this. You can make this pasta in approximately 20 minutes, which to starving people spending too much time at the gym because now they live with gloria who eats, like, 30 gallons of butter every day but still keeps her girlish figure, is pretty awesome.

Oh, hey. Besides the header picture, which I REALLY encourage you to set as your background and stare at all day, you can ignore that DCist recipe. It is not the best. Mine is the best.

Ingredients (for two or three hungry folks):

• 1 3oz. package of pancetta, or 3-4 ounces of pancetta, depending on how fat you feel. You can also use bacon.
• 1/2 pound of pasta. We used gemelli. Penne may work better.
• 1 egg
• 1 egg yolk
• 1/2 cup parmesan cheese, grated like a mofo. (I bought mine at the store, pre-grated, because I am lazy!)
• 1/4 of a white onion. Gloria suggested adding more onion in the end, so you can do that too.
• PEAS. ONE CUP OF PEAS.
• salt and pepper.

Instructions, optimized for time efficiency:

1. Prep work: Chop yo onion however you prefer. Want huge chunks? Go for it! Dice yo pancetta. Nothing too fancy, just to the chunks will give their delicious fat to you. Thaw yo peas. THAW THEM! I did it in the microwave.

2. Salt some water up, and cook the pasta until it’s al dente, or if you’re cooking for Miss “Can’t Move Her Dang Jaw”, until it melts in your mouth. The salt is actually somewhat critical, I’d say, so don’t forget it. And don’t use too much, Goldilocks.

3. Put a panon medium, then toss your pancetta in when it’s hot. You can smell the aroma of rich people bacon right there. Once you see a decent amount of fat coming out and sizzling, throw your onions in. Now you have onions cooking in pancetta fat, and you win cooking. Feel free to eat some of your onions. They are delicious. I went until my onions were mostly clear.

4. Everything will be fine on its own for a bit, so whisk (or fork) your eggy ingredients. When that’s nice, put in that cheese, and blend it all together into a nice, chunk mass. You want to coat all your cheese in egg, so it looks creamy.

5. Is your pasta al dente yet? How ’bout your onions, are they done? Good! Drain the pasta, but save the water.  Put your pasta back into the bowl it came from, kill the heat, and now work fast. Dump in your bacon, dump in your peas, dump in your eggy/cheesy stuff, and stir like the dickens until it’s all integrated. STIR. If you don’t stir, you’ll end up with scrambled eggs and pasta, which is not as good.

6. Okay, my pasta ended up a little dry. DON’T DO WHAT I DID. DON’T DUMP YOUR PASTA WATER DOWN THE DRAIN! If it’s looking a little dry, in step five, spoon in some of your pasta water and stir until it’s a consistency that you like. Then, finish it off by salting and peppering it. Taste it first–the pancetta/bacon probably salted it up a good deal for you already.

7. EAT.

Bonus: I paired this one splendidly with a Barefoot Merlot, which, if you’re still drinking it after you eat, turns sweeter after the food stops.

I essentially served myself and ate too fast for any attractive photos to be taken. Truly, pasta carbonara is the Loch Ness of foods.

PS: I love peas.

Adapted from Pioneer Woman’s Pasta Primavera, mostly simplified to account for ingredients I don’t like or was too lazy to purchase.

I’m searching for a veggie pasta dish that tastes just as good after it’s cold, to take to work for lunch. There will probably be more posts about recipes in this general field in the near future. Suggestions welcome!

Ingredients

• ~2 cups broccoli

• 3 carrots
• 1 zucchini
• 1 yellow squash
• ~2 cups mushrooms
• 1/2 cup white wine
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1 cup light cream (PW suggests half-and-half, but I had this leftover from making mac and cheese yesterday)
• basil leaves (PW suggests fresh basil, but I am lazy)
• ~1 cup parmesan cheese
• 1 lb. penne pasta

Chop up and sautée all the vegetables in butter/margarine and olive oil and a bit of water. (PW also used onions and red peppers, but I don’t like either, so I left them out.) I started with the carrots and threw the broccoli in with them, and they were done around the same time, with just a bit of bite left to the carrots; then the zucchini and squash, which take about the same amount of time; then the mushrooms. Meanwhile I also put the pasta on the stove, and dumped the cooked vegetables into a big bowl.

Then the sauce, in the same pan as you cooked the vegetables in. Start with the wine and the chicken broth (of which I probably added too much), then add the creams (of which I think I would use more next time). When the sauce has thickened a bit, add most of the parmesan and stir it ’til it melts, then add the basil and stir that in.

When the pasta’s done, dump it in the bowl with the vegetables, then do the same with the sauce, and stir it all up. Sprinkle the rest of the parmesan over the top.

The sauce is a little thin, I thought, but it’ll probably thicken as it cools, and with luck when I have this again for lunch tomorrow it’ll be perfect. I think the fresh basil and also salt and pepper would probably be a good idea, but again: lazy. It was still delicious, and I love the various flavors and textures of the vegetables with the creamy sauce.

Luckily, we had master chef Christoper there to appease our stomachs with homemade bruschetta and garlic bread. Also, Sophie brought over a bottle of chianti classico that went really well with the appetizers and surprisingly decently with the main course. What? Red wine with seafood? Yes, yes we can.

Also, I got to break in my new, awesome, large, gas-range-wielding kitchen last night!  Being able to talk to people who are sitting at the bar while I cook is so good.

Photo!

I lifted the recipe from the Food Network site and added my own comments below:

**As far as proportions go, I find that this recipe serves 3-4 people easily.

• 2 tablespoons unsalted butter
• 1/2 cup finely chopped yellow onion
• 1/4 cup tomato concasse (tomatoes peeled, seeded, and cut into strips) **I just used diced tomatoes from a can!
• 1/4 cup sliced scallion greens
• 2 teaspoons minced garlic
• 1/2 cup vodka
• 1 cup fish stock **fish stock is a little hard to find, chicken or vegetable stock work fine as substitutes
• 2 cups whipping cream
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
• 8 ounces gemelli **definitely recommend using gemelli in particular – it goes so well
• 1 tablespoon very finely grated Parmesan
• 1/2 pound smoked salmon, sliced thinly and chopped **you can definitely get away with less
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh parsley
• 2 tablespoons chiffonade fresh basil

Directions

In a large skillet, melt the butter over medium-high heat. Add the onions and cook, stirring, until soft, about 3 minutes. Add the tomato, scallion greens, and garlic and cook, stirring, for 30 seconds.

Remove the pan from the heat and add the vodka. Return to the heat and flame.

**Note: You’ll need one of those long lighters that you use for grills and such, I’ve tried using matches before because I lacked lighters and it’s not pretty.  After you light it on fire, pick up the pan and shake it lightly and watch the flames dance! It’s pretty and blue.  The shaking will help the vodka burn faster/more evenly I think, while also being a source of entertainment.

When the flame dies out, add the stock. Bring to a boil and reduce by 50 percent in volume. Add the cream, salt, and pepper, and cook until reduced by 50 percent in volume.

**Note: This takes REALLY LONG if you are making a lot; with my doubled recipe yesterday it took about an hour and a half. Generally though, I would expect it to take only about 30 minutes with a regular batch. You’ll know it’s about done when the cream takes on the reddish color of the tomatoes in the sauce!

Meanwhile, cook the pasta in a pot of boiling salted water until al dente. Drain in a colander.

Add the pasta to the cream sauce and toss to coat. Add the cheese, salmon, and herbs, and remove from the heat. Toss to coat. Serve immediately.

Things I learned about chard:

1. What the hell it is. Apparently it’s like beets, except the leafy part?
2. It is not available in your local Giant. We had to make an extra trip to Whole Foods for this ingredient!
3. IT IS SO HUGE. The bunch we got was about as big as my head, and took up the whole wok when we were sautéing the vegetables.

And now, my favorite part! DOCUMENTATION.