Ingredients:

• 2 Green Bell Peppers
• 3-4 Jalapeño Peppers
• 1-2 White Onions
• 1 Large Can Tomato Sauce (~29 oz)
• 1 Can Tomato Paste (~12 oz)
• 1 Bottle of Beer
• 3 Cans of Beans (16 oz each)
• 1 Pound Ground Chicken
• 1 Pound Ground Turkey
• 1 Pound Thick Cut Bacon
• Seasoning Mix (described below)

Seasoning Mix:

• 2 tbsp. Chili Powder
• 1 tbsp. Seasoned Salt
• 1 tsp. Onion Powder
• 1 tsp. Garlic Powder
• 2 tsp. Cumin
• 1/2 tsp. Salt
• 1/2 tsp. Oregano
• 1/2 tsp. Paprika

1. Finely chop onions and peppers into ~1/4″ pieces.   Put peppers, onions and beer into  a large pot or slow cooker.  I used a bottle of Yeungling Lager, but most beers should work and will add their own unique flavors.  For stove-top cooking set to medium heat, or for slow cooker set to highest setting.
2. In a large frying pan cook the bacon.  Remove from heat when the strips are a dark pink.  Even if you like to go whole-hog and get your bacon super crispy keep in mind these will be in the chili for a very long time so getting them just-done is the way to go.  Set aside the strips on a plate between paper towels to absorb excess grease.  When all the bacon has been cooked pour out excess grease from the pan into a metal or glass container, leaving about 2-3 tbsp. in the pan.
3. In the same pan cook the ground chicken with about 1 tbsp. of the seasoning mix. When the chicken is fully cooked, drain and add to the pot or slow cooker with the vegetables. Repeat the process for the ground turkey with 1 tbsp. of the seasoning mix and 1-2 tbsp. of bacon grease. After the chicken and turkey have been added to the mix reduce heat to low.
4. Pat excess grease off of the bacon with a paper towel and slice the bacon into small pieces (about 1/4-1/2″  wide). Add bacon to the pot.
5. Strain all liquid from the beans and add to the pot. I used a combination of kidney beans, black beans and navy beans. Add tomato sauce, tomato paste and remainder of seasoning mix to the pot and stir thoroughly.  Fresh tomatoes could be used but I like to keep the tomato as a liquid base for the other ingredients.  If fresh tomatoes are used you should finely chop enough tomatoes to constitute about 1-1.5 quarts (32-48 oz).
6. Allow to simmer for 3-4 hours or longer if possible, stirring occasionally.  I ended up cooking the chili overnight for a total of about 12 hours.  This allowed a richer flavor to develop which I think worked out well. However it did end up burning slightly on the bottom which ended up making the flavor a little smokier, but unfortunately also caused the bottom quarter or so of the pot to be thrown out. In general it would be best to cook this throughout the day so as to keep an eye on it at all times.

This makes I believe about 6 quarts of chili. Serve with shredded cheddar cheese and sour cream or ranch dressing.

Ingredients:

- Mild oil of your preference; I used grapeseed, olive would be good
- Garlic, either minced garlic or sliced garlic scapes
- Rosemary, fresh or dried
- Asparagus
- Bacon, thick cut
- Toothpicks

1. Pour generous blorb of oil into a small pan.

2. Chop garlic scapes and crumble rosemary into the oil in a pan. Heat, probably stirring more than is really necessary, until the kitchen smells delicious and the oil is all nice and flavored. PROTIP: Don’t overdo it, or your garlic scapes will transform into small dark balls of burnt. Don’t ask how I know that.

3. Preheat oven to 350F, or 375F if you’re hungry RIGHT NOW.

4. Wash the asparagus, snap off the gross woody ends, and slice into 2-3″ lengths.

5. Slice each bacon strip into thirds or 4″ strips, whichever makes more sense to you.

6. Pile four or so asparagus mini-stalks onto a bacon mini-strip, perpendicular to the strip (you’ll be making a little asparagus bundle).

7. Drizzle a bit of the oil with garlic and rosemary onto the asparagus.

8. Wrap the bacon around the asparagi and secure with a toothpick.

9. Bake in a baking dish for 30-40 minutes, or until bacon looks cooked.

10. Dip in remaining oil + garlic + rosemary and eat. I cannot believe what a beautiful blend of flavors this produces. It’s like tasting the Sistine Chapel. But with bacon!

Seriously, I can’t shut up about this. You can make this pasta in approximately 20 minutes, which to starving people spending too much time at the gym because now they live with gloria who eats, like, 30 gallons of butter every day but still keeps her girlish figure, is pretty awesome.

Oh, hey. Besides the header picture, which I REALLY encourage you to set as your background and stare at all day, you can ignore that DCist recipe. It is not the best. Mine is the best.

Ingredients (for two or three hungry folks):

• 1 3oz. package of pancetta, or 3-4 ounces of pancetta, depending on how fat you feel. You can also use bacon.
• 1/2 pound of pasta. We used gemelli. Penne may work better.
• 1 egg
• 1 egg yolk
• 1/2 cup parmesan cheese, grated like a mofo. (I bought mine at the store, pre-grated, because I am lazy!)
• 1/4 of a white onion. Gloria suggested adding more onion in the end, so you can do that too.
• PEAS. ONE CUP OF PEAS.
• salt and pepper.

Instructions, optimized for time efficiency:

1. Prep work: Chop yo onion however you prefer. Want huge chunks? Go for it! Dice yo pancetta. Nothing too fancy, just to the chunks will give their delicious fat to you. Thaw yo peas. THAW THEM! I did it in the microwave.

2. Salt some water up, and cook the pasta until it’s al dente, or if you’re cooking for Miss “Can’t Move Her Dang Jaw”, until it melts in your mouth. The salt is actually somewhat critical, I’d say, so don’t forget it. And don’t use too much, Goldilocks.

3. Put a panon medium, then toss your pancetta in when it’s hot. You can smell the aroma of rich people bacon right there. Once you see a decent amount of fat coming out and sizzling, throw your onions in. Now you have onions cooking in pancetta fat, and you win cooking. Feel free to eat some of your onions. They are delicious. I went until my onions were mostly clear.

4. Everything will be fine on its own for a bit, so whisk (or fork) your eggy ingredients. When that’s nice, put in that cheese, and blend it all together into a nice, chunk mass. You want to coat all your cheese in egg, so it looks creamy.

5. Is your pasta al dente yet? How ’bout your onions, are they done? Good! Drain the pasta, but save the water.  Put your pasta back into the bowl it came from, kill the heat, and now work fast. Dump in your bacon, dump in your peas, dump in your eggy/cheesy stuff, and stir like the dickens until it’s all integrated. STIR. If you don’t stir, you’ll end up with scrambled eggs and pasta, which is not as good.

6. Okay, my pasta ended up a little dry. DON’T DO WHAT I DID. DON’T DUMP YOUR PASTA WATER DOWN THE DRAIN! If it’s looking a little dry, in step five, spoon in some of your pasta water and stir until it’s a consistency that you like. Then, finish it off by salting and peppering it. Taste it first–the pancetta/bacon probably salted it up a good deal for you already.

7. EAT.

Bonus: I paired this one splendidly with a Barefoot Merlot, which, if you’re still drinking it after you eat, turns sweeter after the food stops.

I essentially served myself and ate too fast for any attractive photos to be taken. Truly, pasta carbonara is the Loch Ness of foods.

PS: I love peas.

Adapted from Pioneer Woman’s Pasta Primavera, mostly simplified to account for ingredients I don’t like or was too lazy to purchase.

I’m searching for a veggie pasta dish that tastes just as good after it’s cold, to take to work for lunch. There will probably be more posts about recipes in this general field in the near future. Suggestions welcome!

Ingredients

• ~2 cups broccoli

• 3 carrots
• 1 zucchini
• 1 yellow squash
• ~2 cups mushrooms
• 1/2 cup white wine
• 1/2 cup chicken broth
• 1 cup heavy cream
• 1 cup light cream (PW suggests half-and-half, but I had this leftover from making mac and cheese yesterday)
• basil leaves (PW suggests fresh basil, but I am lazy)
• ~1 cup parmesan cheese
• 1 lb. penne pasta

Chop up and sautée all the vegetables in butter/margarine and olive oil and a bit of water. (PW also used onions and red peppers, but I don’t like either, so I left them out.) I started with the carrots and threw the broccoli in with them, and they were done around the same time, with just a bit of bite left to the carrots; then the zucchini and squash, which take about the same amount of time; then the mushrooms. Meanwhile I also put the pasta on the stove, and dumped the cooked vegetables into a big bowl.

Then the sauce, in the same pan as you cooked the vegetables in. Start with the wine and the chicken broth (of which I probably added too much), then add the creams (of which I think I would use more next time). When the sauce has thickened a bit, add most of the parmesan and stir it ’til it melts, then add the basil and stir that in.

When the pasta’s done, dump it in the bowl with the vegetables, then do the same with the sauce, and stir it all up. Sprinkle the rest of the parmesan over the top.

The sauce is a little thin, I thought, but it’ll probably thicken as it cools, and with luck when I have this again for lunch tomorrow it’ll be perfect. I think the fresh basil and also salt and pepper would probably be a good idea, but again: lazy. It was still delicious, and I love the various flavors and textures of the vegetables with the creamy sauce.

ALSO: Impromptu poll of people-less-northern-than-NY (I refuse to admit that NoVA is the south): Have you ever heard of broccoli rabe? How would you prounounce it? This is for science.

Anyway, I just had this (again) for lunch with leftover dirty rice – though my semi-Cajun roommate informs me that it’s not true dirty rice unless it’s pink?! – and it is not only delicious, but it’s also, for those of us who do not have steamers so much as have collanders and pots and lids that don’t really fit but get by, a bit easier.

1. Preheat oven to 400F.

2. Get some asparagus. Wash & snap off the ends.

2b.If it’s not nice, thin young asparagus you may want to peel the thick ends a bit to get rid of some of the woodiness.

3. Dump it on a baking sheet. Drizzle a little (c. 2 tsp for a single serving?) olive oil on, grind pepper and sea salt on as well. Roll it all around to coat evenly.

4. Arange the asparagi so the thickest bits are in the center of the sheet and the delicate tips are pointed out.

5. Roast 10-15 minutes; check it at 8 or 10 to see how tender it’s getting.

6. Om nom nom.

6b. For bonus decadence points, wrap each stalk in a couple inches of prosciutto, a la Everyday Italian lady, which is where I got this idea in the first place. But she claims this is finger food, which is a manifest lie, unless you enjoy having your fingers covered in pork fat and olive oil (it is so delicious you will not care.)

Things I learned about chard:

1. What the hell it is. Apparently it’s like beets, except the leafy part?
2. It is not available in your local Giant. We had to make an extra trip to Whole Foods for this ingredient!
3. IT IS SO HUGE. The bunch we got was about as big as my head, and took up the whole wok when we were sautéing the vegetables.

And now, my favorite part! DOCUMENTATION.